I forgot to mention the bird outside my hotel room. Four days of relentless screeching like a cricket into a microphone. All morning and night it chirps without a break. This would be a good torture tactic.

"… Leave my loneliness unbroken!— quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!
…And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting…”

Last day in San Francisco. The trip went well. I met my team. It was totally worthwhile to come. But somehow the week was also a total disaster. I was already having crisis-of-life feelings with the anniversary of my mom’s death approaching when I found out my 2nd cousin had been crushed in a terrible car accident. He is in a coma with more surgeries pending. Unbelievably, as I typed those words at that moment my dad called to tell me that my aunt’s father passed away this morning. Sigh.

My normal coping mechanism (besides chocolate and TV) is a great workout. But I am hurt. Not just hurting but hurt. Can’t really go hard with a twisted hip and knee. CrossFit might be out. Pick up volleyball, mountain biking in Crested Butte, the sprint triathlon – all might be out. I tried to workout at the gym but after being used to all that other stuff a regular workout in a gym by myself is like an hour and a half of warming up.

Unlike any other time I have ever travelled in my life  I had absolutely no ambition this week to do anything fun. No sightseeing, exploring, or exciting adventures of any kind. I could barely drag my butt down to the pool to sit in the hot tub. Not having Todd here made it worse. And feeling stressed and sorry for myself, I ate like complete crap which just compounded everything.

Enough! What a total waste of time and energy. It is not helping anybody to barely be functional. Not my mom, not my 2nd cousin, my family, Todd, and certainly not me. Time for a change…